I was recently asked in my Child Development class to draw my family. The topic of that days lecture was of the effects of family on a child's development. Such interaction was quite a usual topic for such a class. We watched clips of children who were asked to draw pictures of their family, mostly stick figures some with pets some with grandparents. When we were done with all that she asked us to draw our family as we see it. With exception to the illustration major in the back the class drew stick figures, some of just their immediate family, some with their children. This wasn't the first time in my life that I was asked to draw a portrait of my family. In the past there would be my dad on the left with a square for a body and an unusually large head, my mom would be on the right with a large triangle for a dress and I would be in the middle holding their hands. Sometimes I would draw a tree or a cat maybe even a rabbit. It was always hard to draw it because it wasn't what I had but what I wanted, what I pictured the ideal to be; I wanted to be the glue that held them together. Somehow being on my own made it even harder. Before I started moving the pen on my paper I had to ask myself "what is family?" obviously there is the easy blood factor. Yet it amazes me that blood has nothing to do with it. What I feel family to be are the people around you, that love you and even more, you love them. They are the people that God has set you with for that part of your life. I believe this to be true for I often say "friends are family" yet there is an underlying loyalty to those that were made into my biological family. So I now feel that I have so much family, but nothing concrete. Tomorrow I might be living with someone else, I might be closer to my father's house, I might be nearer my mother's house, I might be living with my best friend or I just might be living with complete strangers. I've come to the conclusion that I will continue to feel this way until I am able to make my own family. I was once told that we have only two covenants between another being, God and our spouse.
For now I want to thank my families: my Mother, brother and sister who I spent most of my childhood with, my Father, second mother and brother who taught me much, my aunts, uncles and cousins who were always there to listen and make me laugh, my grandparents who are wonderful and my dear friends who volunteer to be apart of my expansive family. I know I'm not the only one, but through my life I was rather prone to feeling sorry for myself, but God didn't let me get away with it. He blessed me with wonderful people who unknowingly caused me to realize that I will always be loved.
I love you all so very, very much, thank you for being apart of my family.
Raelynn
P.S. Since I've gone all minimalistic on myspace, if you would like to keep dibs on my other blog (same posts, just not myspace) go here: www.DoeRaeMe.blogspot.com
P.P.S If anyone would like to join me NOT this monday but the next, I have been wanting to go to the Celtic arts center but their programs are during my monday class times. SO since I have a week off, I'm going to try my best to get my bodhran and check out the jam sessions! (And I ask because usually my dear friend Eleanor would be joining me, but she will be in Washington... sad day) I'm rather, uh, shy when going to things like that... so someone come with me! It will be fun! I really want to promise, but I haven't been before, so I'll stick with a confident guess.
P.P.P.S I often post very contemplative blogs, I'm OK, I don't need you to feel sorry or worried for me. I am just writing what I feel I cannot keep inside. Thanks for listening.
